Holidays · Single · Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day Solution for Singles

It’s February and we all know what that means: Valentine’s Day.  For many this may mean flowers, gourmet meals, and romantic lovemaking.  For many more, however, it can mean a day of battling thoughts of unworthiness because they don’t have a special someone with whom to share the day.

This was my conundrum several years ago when I found myself single for the first time in 7 years.  I had made the mistake of jumping from one 5 year relationship into a 2 year pairing, thereby insuring that I took all my baggage from one and transferred it to another.  When the second one ended–badly– I made the courageous decision to stay single and work on myself before jumping back into the dating scene.  I felt good about the decision…until Valentine’s Day started to loom ever closer.

Then I started to freak out and do a lot of whining to my mentor at the time.  He was a bit more cynical about love than I ever hope to be but he did say something that gave me pause: He asked how many people I knew in relationships that were actually happy.  I had to admit, that at least in my circles at that time, most of the couples I knew weren’t having that great of a time.  I knew then and know now that it isn’t always the case but it made me realize I’d rather be single than in another crazy, chaotic, miserable relationship.  And I had sense enough to know that given the state I was in (in need of much clearing of my own personal demons) going out to desperately try to meet someone would likely produce that exact result.  Either I would attract the same kind of man I’d been attracting or, if I managed to find a good guy, I’d blow it because I wasn’t ready.

So I decided I would be my own Valentine.  I bought myself a cute outfit, candy, roses, balloons, my first real gold ring, and, of course, a sex toy.  On the night of the February 13th, I arranged everything in a gorgeous display on my coffee table so it would greet me when I got up the next day.  I even had a card for myself which I had left a beautiful, loving message in.  I think having the display was what really made it special since I could buy myself things at any time.

It may sound lame but it really bolstered my spirits that year.  I had the privileged of shopping for a wonderful Valentine (me!) and receiving the perfect gifts (all exactly the right colors, sizes, styles, etc.) from a thoroughly thoughtful lover (myself!).

If you find yourself alone this time of year and you’re feeling down about it, maybe give something like this a try.  Or perhaps agree to be your best friend’s Valentine, if you’re both single.  Or maybe get all your single friends together that day for dinner and a movie.

I would love to hear from folks about strategies you’ve used in the past to survive V-Day or what you plan to do this year.  Please leave some comments for me below!

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